https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzP4kQhlPBY Sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind I want to get off, but I keep ridin' the ride I never really noticed that I had to decide To play someone's game or live my own life And now I do I wanna move Out of the black (out of the… Continue reading Returning to University: Not-being-happy and breakdowns.
https://youtu.be/Y6ljFaKRTrI ^ My theme song for 2017. "I rose from the almost dead" ^ My quote of 2017 CN: suicide, anxiety, OCD 2017 was one fucking rollercoaster of a year. From outside, it is easy to conclude that 2017 has gone perfectly for me and I should be happily proud of my (academic) achievements. But… Continue reading Reflections on 2017 and Goals for 2018
I love LGBTQ fiction, and I love LGBTQ representation in the media. But despite the increase in LGBTQ representation in the media, for a long time I still felt left out. And it's only recently that I realised why. When I flick through description of gay novels, they appear either to be endless remakes of Dorian… Continue reading LGBTQ Fiction: Fitting In and Non-Binary Representation
to my old friend, Ennui. For the last month I've gradually been slipping out of my very organised and high-stressed routine. I knew that the summer was coming and I didn't want to fuck up. I tried to run a trial of what the summer holiday could potentially be like during half-term but it failed… Continue reading I want to say goodbye
While sprawling on my bed, it struck me how a phrase from Thouny's "Waiting for a Messiah" could used to be describe my own life with a painfully startling accuracy. Thouny describes the setting of the seminal 90s anime Neon Genesis Evangelion as being neither in a state of war, nor in a state of peace and rebuilding,… Continue reading The State of Waiting